Night of the Triangle

She sits crossed-legged on the grass straight across from me, smoking one long drawn out cigarette. I don't know what comes over me. Out of our silence and her puffs of smoke, I yell.
"Can you just answer one thing for me? are you passionate about anything?"
A shocked expression quickly fills her face. My companion to the left of me even questions.
"Where did that come from? What are you so angry about?"
A tight lipped frown quickly followed her immediate shock. She then follows the same pattern of questioning.
"Why are you angry?"
I mumble another lame excuse as my mind rushes to compensate what is happening.
Fix this.
The conversation moves on, and so does my conscience, easing back as it always does-- in order to forget and act like it's nothing. Again silence engulfs us. She breaks it this time.
"You never answered my question. Why are you angry?"
I start to mumble my usual response, but I stop in mid-sentence.
"I...I think I'm angry at myself. I feel like I've changed so much over the years but when I'm back with you, I can tell I haven't at all. And all I want is for you to see this difference in me and recognize it as growth. Deep down, though, I'm deathly afraid that there is no difference."
She pauses and says in a quiet voice,
"Thats all I wanted to hear."

Element

old story(1/7/09)

I stand there at the edge, holding tightly to my friend's hand.
The others stand not too far behind us.
We are a group-- a family, my dear dear friends.
All i know, next, is that I'm falling.
Somehow i managed to fall off the cliff edge into the dark abyss below.
My arms flail and i open my mouth to scream but no sound is heard.
My eyes are locked to my companion.
My friend continues to stand there-- hand still outstretched to me when I'd fallen.
I can see the pain and intense loss on his face, but he makes no move to save me.
The one I've been holding so close to my heart, the people there, just stare in sadness.
While i thought all this, I'd barely noticed that i had hit the bottom.
But it wasn't like i really hit it.
All i could sense was that I was just on the ground.
I didn't know how i really got there because i felt nothing.
And yet as i lay there, motionlessly sprawled out, I knew they were gone.
And i was just left there-- broken.

I call.
You answer.
And You came to my rescue
And I want to be where You are
I call.
You answer.
And You came to my rescue
And I want to be where You are (hillsong)

I meet Him in the middle of the white room.
His eyes shine and He greets me with this radiant smile that melts my heart.
He says my name and extends both of His arms out to me.
Shaking and heart pounding, i go to Him.
He wraps His arms around me so tight that i feel this wholeness and oneness.
I shake with sobs as He holds me.
He whispers my secret name between only the two of us, along with endearing words of love and affection.
Slowly He pulls away, to look at my face in sheer joy and pride.
Although He still clings to my hands.
And thats when i notice the people surrounding us with linked hands also.
These are the glowing faces of my dear and loved friends.
He leans in to whisper to me again.
"And this is how it should be: them supporting our love to one another."